BE A YES MAN!

Have you watched the movie YES MAN? This movie is about a guy named Carl Allen (Jim Carrey) who has a very negative outlook on his life because of how his life turned out.

He got divorced with his wife and he simply is not doing well in his job. He was encouraged by an old colleague to attend a motivational YES seminar with him. In this seminar, people are empowered to say YES to every opportunity. He went there reluctantly and met the speaker and guru, Terrence Bundley. Carl Allen was forced to say YES in front of a crowd and made a covenant and promise to say YES to every invitation.

Later on, he started saying yes to every moment and his experiences totally changed. He got promoted at work, learned how to speak Korean, became the coolest friend and attracted an amazing lady. If I stop right here, seems like that’s a good ending already. But we all know it’s not because we will still encounter different bumps in life.

I know people who say YES to all. In fact, I used to be one of them when I was younger. It’s because of the idea that by offering a positive response, you make others feel better. It seems like a good proposition at the start but not in the long run.

When I was in my previous relationship, I said yes to every request to please and make her feel that she’s very important. When someone asked for help, I said yes even if at that moment, I was also struggling financially. When I was asked to do additional work, I said yes because that will make my superior proud.

Until such time, I can no longer commit to every yes’s. It’s a personal culture that I’ve built in the past to avoid conflict but still potentially win others all at my expense. It’s a very dangerous personal culture.

LEARN HOW TO SAY, NO!

I used to believe that it’s hard to say No. I had a hard time before because I got stuck to it. But there is a way to overcome it. Let me share some of the things that may help you to prevail.

1. ACKNOWLEDGE THE SITUATION. This is the hardest part because you are inside the spectrum. If you are already struggling, it is best to ask an accountable and trusted friend to help you overcome this. You can also ask a professional life coach or counselor to help you determine the root cause of your situation. There must be something in the past that you need to revisit and understand. I was able to overcome it slowly through counseling, months of contemplation and prayers.

2. RENEW YOUR COMMITMENTS. If you already said yes to people, it’s ok. Do not be pressured by the obligation rather focus on how you can communicate and manage the responsibilities. It’s high time you identify your priorities so you can align your energy and other resources. You have to be honest that you CANNOT deliver. You have to let go of the things that are holding you back. You have to let each stakeholder know that you will no longer push through with some of your commitments. This will help you breathe.

3. SAYING NO IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS.Saying NO is a transparent answer to let others know that for now, you can’t. Say no to responsibilities that you think is beyond what you can handle today. Say no to people who have suspicious characters and values. Say no to good opportunities even if it is so tempting to dive into. Not because you have the means, you’ll do it. Say No if your only goal is to please others.

Develop the ability of discernment to guide you in your daily decision making.

4. BE A YES MAN TO GOD. Accept the fact that you are not invincible and you can only do so much. You are not at the mercy of other people. Your inaction towards their requests will not make you a lesser being. You don’t have to please everyone all the time. By saying Yes to God, you’re allowing HIM to take over your life and help you with your decisions as you perform your responsibilities.

Once you do this, believe me, you will have a healthier life. Always remember that you have the power to alter your situation through the wisdom from God. Sometimes, we take out spirituality and depend only on our mental and physical capacity. That will never be enough. We need greater than that. And so I say, I’m a YES MAN but a YES MAN to GOD.

DO YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE? Check out my articles at www.jessejamesllamado.com

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